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Child's power struggles. How to avoid them?
Vakarė Kisieliūtė
5 years ago
Child's power struggles. How to avoid them?

          No one likes those unpleasant snaps your child might experience. Even so, there is a good news for you. When there is some problem, there must be some kind of solution to it, as well as there is solution to your child’s power struggles. Here are some that may be quite handy.

          Begin with the connection

It is quite often that power struggles happen because your child does not feel like you are on the same team. Do power struggle prevention each morning just by spending some time connecting with him. All you need to do is to snuggle with your child, perhaps tickle him a little, maybe even try colouring or reading together. All these are simple but great options for you to try.

          Let them rule

Another awesome prevention technique is to let your child take charge of as many of his activities as possible. It is probable that your little one will start that unwished power struggle when he feels he has been told what to do and cannot do what he really wants.

          Get out of a fight

You know that it takes two to battle, right? So if you want that battle not to happen, just back off. Parents can actually just decide to not get pulled into an argument or not. If you will decide that it is not that important to bother you, it will not. Just make a decision that you do not need to win this struggle and live on.

          Chill out

I know it might be irritating, but just try relaxing and taking a deep breath. At those unpleasant situations be sure to restore yourself to a calm state and try to see life through your kid’s eyes. Perhaps it is not that important that it would make you snap?

          Your kid should know the goals too

In the evening be sure to consider what you need to do the next day. Once you are clear on what are the most important things in that day, clarify that with your little one. Just give him those main fact, like when do you have to leave or what must be done in the day.

          Plan B is a must

Do not forget to think about a few different ways to achieve established goals. Plan B will surely help you in any situation, especially with kids. Everyone knows they are totally unpredictable, as well as life itself.

          Allow them choose

Children often feel more empowered when they have some sense of control within an uncontrollable situation. With your task in mind, think of two or three possible choices that still could accomplish that goal. If you are on a rush to leave and all you have left to do is to put your shoes on, ask your little ones if they will put their shoes themselves or perhaps they need some help.

          Repeat after him

Never stop connecting, listening and trying things until a solution comes. After your child has made a decision which works, smile to him and repeat it as an important fact. The little one will find it as he was taken seriously and by taking a part in the solution he will feel more important and probably more motivated to do something.

          Do not forget to compliment

Just a simple ‘thank you’ might make a whole day of your child. Tell him he did great and that you really appreciate his help.

          Strengthen capability

Show your little one that you honestly believe your child is a capable human. Tell him that you saw him do something he did not want to do, but he still finished it, for example, he might have learned to play some new peace by piano, even though he does not like it. Explain him he was so mature by doing it and that he deserves to be complimented.

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