If you are nursing your baby, then you spend a lot of time with him. It might be difficult to not make dad to feel a little shut out of his newly baked family. Perhaps you will be interested in these few advices how to make your husband feel involved.
Skin to skin
Skin-to-skin contact between parent and baby in the early days is very important and gives a variety of benefits. We cannot forget that this applies to dads too, so let him bond with his child. Make sure dad gets lots of cuddle time, not only chores.
Men bond too
It is not just mother who experiences a surge in bonding hormones when a baby is born. Dad gets it too! It is nature’s way of encouraging his nurturing side. Children whose fathers bonded with them early, are usually academically more successful and emotionally more secure later on in their lives. We all know that every children wants attention from both, his mom and dad.
The most effective way to bond early is to get stuck in with all new baby-related chores. Right from the start let your man change nappies, dress, undress and bath the baby. Sometimes mums unwittingly sabotage this process by jumping in to rescue dad when he might be struggling with these chores. It is the best for everyone if mom will stand back and let dad practice.
It is very easy for dads to feel left out in the first days when mother is breastfeeding because that is the one thing he cannot help you with. But moms do need huge package of emotional support in the first few weeks, especially if they hit feeding problems. And there is practical support too, your husband may make sure you have that glass of water you need and those healthy snacks and meals. In the first couple of weeks when dad may be on paternity leave, he could be in charge of winding the baby after a feed and changing nappies so you could rest. Later on, when feeding is steady, you can express milk and dad can be the one who gives baby that feed.
Sometimes the best thing dad can give is his perception, like when he arrives home from work and is handed a crying baby, even though he did not even take his shoes off. However bad his day at work might have been, chances are mum’s was even worse. It is extremely important for him to offer unconditional support and remember this phase will not last forever.
Moms are not the only ones who get the baby blues. Huge part of fathers get post-natal depression, especially when the baby is around three to six months, possibly related to shortage of sleep. Fathers might also feel a bit lonely because they are no longer the top priority in their life partner’s life or maybe even a little jealous of the attention the baby gets. I will repeat myself, it is worth remembering that it is not forever. The balance will be restored eventually. In the meantime, keep your relationship on track with plenty of support and understanding for each other.
It is likely that moms will be so caught up with everyday care and that is why dads often find themselves in the masters of fun things role. This means lots of giggling games, peekaboo, making silly faces and later - physical rough and tumble play. Dads can also get involved in reading or telling stories to their children.
It is highly important that both of you would be equal in your relationship with the baby. Jus if you do more, let your partner show his skills with your child for a while. Anyways, we do believe that you can work all this out, so best of luck.